How to probe that my husband is still cheating?

My husband started an affair with a coworker around 2000. I found out in2004. He live with me and my children. He ends the relation( I m not sure) but like to hang out with her "ex-lover". He also has never show any motivation to improve our relation. Last Month he told me he is still here because he does not have money to rent another apartment. Is he living a double life? How can I probe it? I think he is afraid of loosing his comfortable life.|||Your husband is disrespecting you right in front of your face. Kick him out, whether he has a place or not. His cheating a** will find an apartment real quick after that.|||It does not matter what he wants. This marriage is over unless you have chosen to sleep with him and forgive him. You need to sit down with him and explain that the trust is gone in the relationship. Marriage is not about conviencing one party. You feel that this afair has not ended. You are very sure he can go and live with his lover since they have been cheating for so long. You and your children do not deserve such misery just to accomodate him. Nor will you. If he does not desire to be married file for divorce and tell him to please leave. He has made his choice and his actions prove as much. It is time to let go. Sit down and talk to the kids and explain with truth and honesty. Everyone must learn to forgive and move on.|||men (and women) who are serial cheaters, really get married (and stay married) because they are cowards.





They are afraid to make their own way in the world. They never matured past their teen years, so they marry, so that they can still be part of a "family" and have a "home" to stay at. But really, they just want to continue their party-lifestyle they had as teenagers.





Being married gives them stability, and respectability. It gives them something to do on holidays. Keeps them from feeling lonely when they're in-between affairs. Gives them social connections they can use to scope out more potential sex partners.





Such people are scum, and parasites. And people who know that their spouses are like this, and knowingly stay with them, are enabling their predatory ways.|||no i don't think that he is having at double life because if he was he wouldn't have say that he is still here because he does not have money to rent another apartment. if there was a nother women he would have been gone. but he made it clear to you that he don't want to be with you just buy him saying that. how can you probe it you just be strong and move on with your life. it will be hard to do but you will be ok.|||Look why are you wasting your time even thinking about any of this. You know he cheated on you with this woman for 4 years and you suspect he's been messing with her for the past 5 years. You didn't leave him 5 years ago and you aren't going to leave him now.





He's come straight out and told you the only reason he is with you is because he can't afford to support himself. He told you he is using you for your money. But here you are, still with him. But you are curious and want to know how you can get him to tell you his dirty little secret. Why are you bored?|||He's made it clear, and I'll show you:





"He hangs out with his ex-lover, and he's only there because he has no money to leave"





So, it's clear he's either still cheating, or just has no feeling for the marriage anymore.|||Are you serious? Hun, leave before you and your children get seriously hurt. He obviously isn't into the marriage anymore and is ready to move on, he just has no money too. Leave!|||men who cheat dont leave their wife what dont you married women understand.





this is what married men who cheat do.|||how about you kick his dead beat butt out!





hes using you which im sure you already know|||What are you still doing with this man?|||I am a guy in this situation, so I hope I can be of some assistance. I too cheated on my wife and we have had two HUGE fights where I have left with my belongings, and this second one I was awarded with a PFA. I have never abused her or even thought of laying a hand on her, She was forced to get one by her family. Family sometimes along with your environment have a lot to do with how your marriage is affected. If he is still talking to the co-worker he slept with, and you aren't comfortable with it, he doesn't respect you or your marriage. He is making these statements, he wants you to ALWAYS be there while he goes out and presents himself as single, he wants that double life. Sometimes as hard as it may be it takes some tough decisions on your part such as kicking him out, if kids are involved get a PFA, all these things will make him realize NOT to take you for granite, and not being able to contact you or the kids should really hit home and show grass ISNT ALWAYS greener on the other side. If he wants to come back, talk and leave emotions aside( yes its hard) and explain things HAVE to change and you BOTH have to work at it to make it work, if he isn't willing he didn't want to be with you to begin with. Guys think with their LOWER head a lot more than the one they should, it is no excuse but its the truth. He is cheating just confront him make something up even if its not true GUYS that are guilty will collapse under pressure of the pretense that you are accusing them of, even if it completely in left field, he will start pointing the finger at you and making up excuses and bringing up things that are completely irrelevant to what you are saying. I hope this was some type of help to you, and Good Luck!